Yes, I’m finally starting a blog! Actually, my dear sister Rachel is building it, but I’m glad it’s happening. Today I feel wildly hopeful and inexplicably energetic. I feel so good, I could see skipping my tube feeding tonight…maybe stop it completely!
I could be having a manic episode, I suppose. I failed to mention in my blog explanation that ten years ago I was diagnosed with the lite version of Bipolar disorder.
Maybe I’m just in a really good mood. I can’t tell the difference sometimes. That’s a problem. When I get this jazzed up I start getting ideas about jetting off to see my friends in Turkey, or applying for a job, just to spice things up. What am I thinking? Chances are good that tomorrow I’ll be exhausted from this good mood and come to my senses. But for today I feel so alive!
When I was in my twenties I was in a constant manic state, and I impulsively travelled a lot and took risks with my life, but it was that mania that got me through college and grad school. It was fun. It wasn’t until I got into my thirties that my depression came back to get me. These days I have a lot of depression and the occasional manic episode, but I’ve learned to not act on it. So, there’s some progress. I better go hook up my feeding tube for the night…